


What once was broken!

by KaiZer



Series: Shadowhunters Series - Simon's stories [1]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, M/M, Mentions of minor character deaths, Original plots, Post books simon, Shadow hunter training mentions, Shadowhunter Academy, Simon pinning after Isabelle, Trainee Simon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 14:35:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5459990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaiZer/pseuds/KaiZer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What could any Shadowhunter wannabe want more than the gruelling training, the snobbish Elites, or the slime...you cannot forget about the slime!!! Trapped in Idris in this sometimes paradise, most time hell hole, Simon -Ex-daylighter-Lewis thought he was starting to understand what it meant to be a shadowhunter. What the job cost and what it would mean to stand as a shadowhunter after ascension. </p><p>That is until only a few short weeks after breaking up with Isabelle Lightwood, and even only a few months after beginning his journey to become one of the angel's descendants. A sudden visitor is brought to seek the aid of the Academy's history teacher. A legend almost known as Jace and Simon's New York friends.</p><p>Simon learns of the cost of being a shadowhunter and must decide for himself If the good outweighs the risks.</p><p>Part 1 of the Shadowhunters Series - Simon's stories</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone so this is a story that is sort of a lead up to another bigger fanfiction I have been writing. The main plot was written back before the Shadowhunter Academy stories were ever released so I a revisiting the series to give more in detail introductions to new characters that will be introduced in the main story.
> 
> This will include Original characters, Original character deaths/maiming. This will also have Simon/original character friendship development.

Simon could feel his temples thrumming, and every inch of his body felt like it was on fire and aching. It wanted to nothing more than to curl up and do nothing for the remaining hour he had before he was supposed to go to practice their archery with George. For once Simon had been pleased to find that he was better than his roommate at the art of archery, something he was glad for as he was horribly underwhelming at almost everything else.

The only thing that could drag him from his stupor on his bed, however, was the growing rumble of his stomach as he thought about the odds of the food waiting for him being worth the effort it would take to get downstairs. He dragged his eyes over to where he could hear George groaning from his position, half off his bed upside down from where he had misjudged his drop and hadn’t bothered to get up again. Until now, at least, the Scottish teen was now dragging himself up off of his bed to shove his feet into his shoes once more.  
  
“ We should eat!!!” He groaned watching Simon pointedly. The message clear, ~don’t make me brave the food alone!!!~  
Debating his refusal Simon`s decision was made for him when his stomach twisted once more with a traitorous grumble. Sighing Simon pulled himself up from his bed and shuffled towards his shoes. He had hoped that the less jarring steps would help his soreness, but he had been wrong. Still he was up now, and it would not make any difference if he lay back down or lay down later and the food would do him good.  
  
Grumbling to himself as he shuffled through the door ignoring the slime covered the walls of the hallway along the corridor. He could hear George`s groaning as he forced his body to follow after Simon up the stairs from the basement in uncharacteristic silence otherwise. As was expected, since the day`s training with Scarsbury had been a particularly tough one. Simon didn`t even want to think about the fact that the demon gym teacher had forced him to go through the obstacle course, not once but twice – Twice!!!

They had just reached the main level when the sounds of raised voices caught Simon`s attentions, glancing towards where it was coming from only to blink at the mob of bodies that were now crowding towards the front hall. Glancing once at George, Simon led his roommate towards the throng of the masses to get a look.

  
After all, it wasn`t often that something got not only the dreg class in such an obvious tizzy but also the Elites. Simon winced as he caught himself wondering if Isabelle Lightwood had once again made her way to the Academy after her declaration of his relationship with her. And his sub-sequential rejection and break up to said Lightwood.

  
Raising himself on his tiptoes, Simon flinched as someone jostled him from behind as the crowd separated to let Dean Pennyhallow, Catarina and Scarsbury through to the front. Tracking them with his eyes, Simon felt his breath hitch as he spotted a male barely standing in the doorway. Bloody and covered in iquir and apparently only standing because of the arm slung over another`s shoulders.

“Ah, Catarina Loss, good show!!! I had heard you were here! Bache Hellspawn sent use through and said you could do more good for him than he could manage. Please, Miss loss...?”

Simon blinked at the thick accent that came from the brown haired male, his lips spreading into a bright smile as his eyes met the blue warlocks as he stepped forward only to frown as he stumbled. Stumbling was not part of the shadow hunter description, the beautiful bastards. However, this particular, golden skinned, British-accented son of the angels had had help. This aid was coming in the form of his companion cursing in a similar accent as he brought his free arm and shoved viciously at the other. Cursing him.

“ I said I would bloody well heal on my own!!! You had no reason to bring me here!!! Return me home!”

“Sorry sir... you refused the silent brothers... Bache and, you know... “his” help. We are limited in the places we can take you-you bloody idi’t”

“Curse you and your bloodline Wayborne!!!”

"Thank the angel you are one of us and no warlock then mate!” the other, Wayborne had to be his family name, grinned as he turned and caught the other as he stumbled and lurched sideways.

It was only then that Simon realized something he hadn’t before, the injured male’s right leg was a mass of blood, iquir and, oh god was that bone? Why had no one used an Iratze on that?

“Karlyle AshShield!!!” Dean Penhallow gasped as she rushed forward herself to grab his other arm and drag it over her shoulders, her hand going into the folds of a pocket and emerging with her stele.

“ Touch me with that and I will end your bloodline!” The threat was cold and firm. Loud enough that everyone could hear it here in the sudden silence of the hall.

None of the students spoke, few were even breathing as they stared at the scene before them. There were many names that they all knew, of course among the most commonly spoken about were the ones Simon both knew and did not. Jace, Isabelle, Alec, Clary, and even himself. But there were a good number of others who had risen other places of the world not protected by Clary and the New York Institute.

Karlyle AsheShield, the current head of the London Institute had stepped in during the war as the previous head had gone missing, later discovered that he had forcefully been turned. He and his parabatai had been one of a few in London who had engaged Sebastian and his men in battle...and he was here, broken and damaged doing one thing that Simon was sure had never happened in the halls of this academy or any Shadowhunter Institute.

Karlyle was refusing to allow anyone to heal him. He was refusing the aid of the runes that would mend his body and heal his wounds. He had apparently refused warlock healing, which though not unheard of as some shadow hunters wanted nothing to do with the healings of the half-demons, which was surprising considering his current state.

“You choose not to be healed? Shadowhunter? Is it because I am a warlock?” Catarina’s voice was clipped, and her eyes were sharp as she studied him. They softened however as the blonde rose his eyes from the floor to meet hers.

“...I choose to receive no healing...I will heal on my own or I will not... that is how it will be!” He growled fiercely.

Despite the fierceness of his voice, however, there was a fragility to it as well, spoken more through the look that Simon could see in his eyes. He had seen someone once, though for the life of him Simon could not remember who it was, one who had lost everything and was lost. Hopeless and wanted nothing to do with life any longer...wanted to end this but would not give into the weakness of doing something that would cause his end. Karlyle wished for death, which was why he was refusing help.

“Very well!” Catarina conceded as she nodded her head.

“Miss Loss!!! You cannot mean to leave him in this state? He is delirious!!!” Dean Penhallow cried even as she began to move, Wayborne matching her pace to all but drag the blonde between them through the crowd that now broke apart.

“I never said that!.... I will set his bones the best I can..in the normal ways that I have come to know!” Catarina’s voice trailed off as she followed them.  
Turning to meet George’s wide eyes Simon felt his own were almost bugging out of his head. Around him, he could hear the whispers of the mundane and shadowhunters alike. Shocked gasps about the condition Karlyle had been in, his decision to refuse to be healed by anyone or anything.

“Damned fool!!! I mean I get not wanting to see the Silent Brothers. Gruesome bastards those...but an Iratze would be easy enough!”

Simon cringed as he heard Jon Cartwright’s voice carry over the others. Simon could see the shadow hunter among the usual group of shadowhunters’ kids staring after them.

“That was Marquis Wayborne wasn’t it?...” Beatriz sighed, in the way that Simon had long since come to realize was saved for her “dreamy” celebrities.

Shaking his head Simon turned to detach himself from the throng, pulling at George’s arm as he went, making his way to the abandoned meal hall and pleased to find himself one of the few who had taken advantage of the distraction to get an early start on the food selection.

Not that it did much good, still the biscuits he managed to steal tonight were only half hard versus the ones that were left at the bottom of the basket since that morning. Simon had just begun his trip to his usual table with George when the rest of the students filed in to get their meals, the conversation still locked entirely on the scene they had all born witnessed.

“It's weird though isn’t it?” George murmured, his heavy brogue softer than normal, his eyes narrowed as he was working at a piece of his biscuit.

“Hmm?”Simon barely managed around his mouthful of food his eyes widening as he caught a flash of something crossing the other’s face as George frowned, more thoughtful now.

“ him refusing to be healed!... I mean did you see the way his leg was? If that isn’t treated properly...he could be crippled for life. What would happen to a hunter crippled like that?”

“He’d die in battle!!! Quick and simple, a demon would get the better of him and bam... one less angel descendant.”

Simon would have been proud of himself for being able to manage to cringe and jump at the same time as Jon’s words answered George before he could even think of it. If he hadn’t been horrified at the implications and the mental image of someone being killed because of an injury.

Turning to glare up at the other Simon was surprised to see that Jon wasn’t flanked by his regular group and instead was standing with Julie, the two of them looking disinterested in the topic they had interrupted.

“you could say that with less enjoyment!” Simon clipped, his eyes narrowed up at the other’s face as he shrugged his broad shoulders.

“It's how things are Lewis!... If he is going to be stupid and refuse to be healed, then he will be crippled. If that happens, he has two options. To become a figurehead of the institute and only ever see the inside of his institute where it is safe, sending his shadow hunters out on patrols instead...or to continue to fight himself and to die!”

The thought nagged at Simon long after the two had made their way off to sit down with the other Elites. A shadow hunter was a warrior, through and through. Even from the days that they were old enough to hold a weapon it was said that the shadowhunter’s kids had trained, preparing for the day they would step into the battle and continue their parent’s fights against demons. What would come of someone like that, someone who lived, breathed and dreamt about battles, who was no longer able to fight?

Was that why Karlyle had looked so hopeless? Had his wounding been so bad that even with healing his leg would never work properly again? Had he known that he would become trapped in his world without the opportunity to do his duty to the world and save the world from evil? Something about that didn’t seem to fit, though, and it left Simon wondering even as he and George made their way to the training ground.

Even as he focused on the task at hand, that being to teach his roommate more control with the bow he thought about it. Flinching now and then as George seemed lost in his thoughts as well.

“Oh for the love of...that was a tree!!! How’d you miss it that badly?” Simon gasped staring at where George’s arrow had strayed.  
“Sorry... wasn’t paying attention!” George sent him a halfhearted grin as he sauntered off to retrieve his arrow.

“Yeah, that’s obvious!!!” Simon sighed, thinking about it for only a moment before sighing. “ Look let's call it a night okay? We’re going to have to be up early tomorrow anyway!” Simon wasn’t sure if he should expect his roommate to take advantage of the out or if they would continue but when George’s shoulders relaxed he knew that he had made the right call.

Even later that evening, after the usual conversations about mold or slime, of the newest Jon addition to their growing collection...Simon lay awake, his eyes tracing shapes in the dark murk that was the ceiling. Thinking about what had happened earlier. It had never occurred to him what would happen after he became a shadow hunter. The idea of becoming a hero, of becoming who he had once been had only been his focus. Now, however, he had to think about what could happen,

  
If he became a shadow hunter only to become wounded, to die? What would that do to those that he had waiting for him? To Clary? To Isabelle? Hell even to Jace and Alec. What would it be like to become one of them only to be unable to fight on their side because he had become injured and was no longer capable of fighting?

* * *

 

The previous night’s interlude had been all but forgotten the next morning as the students began their usual morning routine. Breakfast, torture time with Scarsbury, and finally classes. The others had all come to talk about their usual complaints rather than the mysterious Institute leader healing somewhere in the institute.

Simon had even managed to forget about it himself by the end of dinner; that was until the same blonde from the night before, Marquis Wayborne, had made his way in following with Catarina towards where they could get their food. The blonde looked tired and his easy grin from the night before was nowhere to be seen. In fact, he almost looked pale around the edges.

Simon would have given anything to hear what they were saying as they stood side by side in their little world. When they broke apart, however, Simon Tracked Catarina with his eyes, her taking two trays with her out of the meal hall.

“Lewis right?”

Simon jumped with a yelp at the sudden voice and his eyes snapped towards it and widened as the blonde, Marquis, was now standing in front of him with his tray filled with questionable Japanese cuisine. He had a brow arched and was staring down at Simon with a faint quirk of one lip that spoke volumes to the amusement in the other’s eyes.

“ Huh?” Simon answered intelligently only to cringe inwardly. He should be used to others knowing who he was by now, but he knew that that would take more than a few weeks of being surrounded by people who knew about his deeds, and were disappointed with his lack of abilities, to get used to it.

Simon frowned as that damn quirk became an all out smirk as the blonde before him chuckled and waved his tray towards the spot across from Simon and arched his brow. He was apparently asking for his permission to sit, and Simon was surprised as to why he would want that. After all Jon Cartwright and the other Elites were lingering in the corners of Simon’s peripherals as if waiting to swoop in and save “ an actual real shadow hunter” from making the mistake of sitting with Simon.

“Uh..yeah. “ Simon started, swallowing hard before nodding. “Sure! Go right ahead.”

In the usual, self-assured way that Simon knew every shadowhunter conducted themselves in, Marquis sat quickly in the offered place and regarded his tray with a combination of curiosity and horror.

“So.... I am sure I don’t need to say it...but I know sashimi.... I would not recommend eating that” Simon blinked up at the blonde who was poking at something that looked like a grey something stuck with a toothpick in place on a small ball of rice. The look on his face made Simon laugh faintly as the other rose horrified hazel eyes up to meet Simon’s.

“ I’m not even kidding!!! My....partner...would hunt down the person who cooked this and stab them in the face if he ever saw this!” Marquis stressed, shaking his head as if lamenting the opportunity to see that.

Simon caught the way the other said “partner” and he had to wonder about the slight leap of happiness that sparked in the blonde’s eyes as he talked about this other person’s violent streak towards their cooks.

  
“Yeah!...I would say that about most things...I mean... the soup is safe... I haven’t gotten sick from eating it...”Simon stopped and then amended that statement. “ well not from the soup itself... there was an instance when something additional had accidentally been added afterwards that made a few of us ill but yeah.”

The tension left Simon then as the shadowhunter across from himself threw his head back and laughed, a hearty, happy laugh that lit up his whole face.

“So your partner? He knows his sashimi huh?” George asked from where he was grinning around his mouthful of food.

“Ahh... my apologies mate!!! Marquis Wayborne” The blonde held his hand across the table for George with a friendly tilt of his head that Simon was surprised to see directed towards someone sitting at the “dreg” section.

Simon couldn’t help but grin as he watched George hastily wipe his free hand and take the offered handshake. For a moment, the tension that passed between them was palpable as both squeezed down on the other before easing their grips with a grin.

“ George Lovelace!...and yes I am proud of my Surname!!” George began his usual speech about his last name before trailing off at the almost blinding smile that passed over the other’s face.”..”

“Ahhhh good name!!! Lovelace’s are good people! Very good people! I owe my life to a Lovelace!” Marquis nodded his head as if to his words before looking between the two of them.

“Question”

“Answer!” Simon couldn’t help himself, and was surprised at how easy he could talk to this strange, unknown shadow hunter who was probably a few years his senior. The flash of a grin that spread over Marquis’s face at that only strengthening his ease.

  
“So...What is the hero of the dark war...and a Lovelace doing sitting here?” Marquis asked glancing around his eyebrow raising as he caught sight of Jon, who was openly staring at them. “ I mean why aren’t you sitting with .... hmmm is that a Cartwright?” when Simon blinked in surprise and nodded he continued. “ Thought so...they’re...distinct...”

“Well I’m a mundane...so I belong in the Mundane courses!” Simon felt the usual defensiveness rising to the surface despite the easy way the other had asked his question. The general attitude towards mundane that all shadow hunters seemed ingrained with grating on Simon.

  
Marquis rose a brow at the sudden tone and lifted his hands defensively as if to placate him. A shadow hunter, who could easily break –scrawny, girl gear wearing Simon-fail at everything he’d tried-Lewis - was trying to appease Simon?

“Woh there mate!!! Sorry, I obviously pushed a button there!...I had no intentions of insulting you or your class! I recognise that you are in fact mundane-born however I know that you have knowledge of our world and the work we do...you’ve lived it...I thought they would have given you some...exceptions!”

Simon blinked back the blinding rage and regarded Marquis again from a calmer standpoint. He could see the other’s confusion and obvious regret on the subject. “ ...They did!...I chose to switch. I decided to learn with my own because I didn’t like “theirs””

That damn eyebrow met Marquis’ hairline again, and his head cocked to the side that Simon could almost say rather...”Jace like"...that self-assured, cocky self-control that truly skilled and tested shadowhunters just possessed in spades. The look on the other’s face put him at ease once more, though. There was nothing in the way of condescension in that gaze. In fact, he looked almost...awed.

“you chose it?...that’s some ...knackers on you mate!!!” Marquis grinned shaking his head as he chuckled.

Simon blinked for a moment trying to figure out what he meant. What the hell was that? Still the gist of the statement was that Simon had done something impressive, and so he allowed himself to smirk at him a little. Nodding his head even as he shrugged.

“I guess so!”

“ And you Lovelace?” Marquis’ kind gaze extended to the other as he turned his eyes towards him.

George, on the other hand, seemed far more uncomfortable than Simon had seen him in a while. His eyes downcast to the table and his food abandoned. He frowned a little before glancing up at him and shrugging his shoulders.

“Adopted...”

Simon had to give Marquis credit as he blinked and then blinked again staring at George and giving an almost perfect fish impression. Finally, he tilted his head once more and then nodded his head with a shrug of his shoulders simultaneously acknowledging the admittance and dismissing it.

“So?...”

This dismissive question left both Simon and his roommate gaping at the British Shadowhunter. Never before in coming here had Simon ever heard one of the elites or even the teachers and special guests they had managed to bring in for lectures disregard blood. Blood was everything to the ancient, demon slaying race.

“...My partner was raised by a family that wasn’t his own...It takes kind people to take a kid in that wasn’t their own and to raise them in their family. I stand by my statement. Lovelace’s are good people! And you should be proud to be one of them mate!”

Simon could once again hear that gentleness when the other spoke about his partner, and he was once again left wondering something. Did he speak of a parabatai? Is Simon could remember the way that Alec once described his bond with Jace, during a stressful time when they did not know it the blonde was alive or even where he was? Or perhaps Marquis was speaking of something entirely.

His opportunity to study the other abruptly ended as Catarina reappeared in the doorway to the meal hall her eyes scanning and locking on Marquise.

"Ah, that must mean the blooming arse is awake!! Sorry chaps, I will catch up with you at a later time" Marquis promised, and Simon believed that he meant it.

With that, the blonde rose from his seat and sweat out of the hall in a graceful stride that Simon could only describe as similar to a Lion stalking its prey. Leaving George and Simon to stare after him as did many of the others.

"He's an odd one huh?" George asked, despite the faint flush that Simon could still see on his cheeks and the dorky, pleased grin that had not left his lips since the Brit had praised him and his family despite finding out that he wasn't a Lovelace by blood.

"Yeah, he certainly is!"


	2. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the thoughts of what could happen to a shadowhunter keeps Simon up later than he normally would like, a night stroll is the only thing that can calm his panicked mind. What Simon was not expecting was to run across the person who had rocked his barely formed ideals...let alone to end up talking to him in depth about the other's experiences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone so here's the second installment of this story. You will get to meet Karlyle with a little more details. I was initially going to make this story only three chapters long. However, this chapter somehow ended up being 12000 words long so I decided I should split it!

Simon rolled his shoulders as he wandered the halls of the Academy. He had only recently abandoned George with Marisol and Sunil on their way to practice with their new short swords for the class the next day. Simon having pleaded the fifth and bailed out due to the soreness of his left arm from where Jon Cartwright had all but wrenched his arm out of its socket.

Rubbing the joint absentmindedly, Simon let his mind wander to the place it usually did when he was alone in recent weeks. To a certain black haired demon slaying, avenging angel’s spawn, Isabelle Lightwood. She had often come unbidden to his thoughts whenever he was not able to keep himself thoroughly enthralled in whatever it was he was learning or doing, and here she was once again.

Sure he had broken up with her a few weeks ago after she had travelled all this way to lay her claim on Simon himself – God why oh why had he been stupid enough to do that? However, Simon could not get the youngest living Lightwood out of his head.

A knot twisted in Simon’s stomach when he thought about the expression that had been on Isabelle’s face when he had told her that he wasn’t her Simon. When he had laid bare all of the insecurities about the divide between the Simon he had been. The vampire Simon, who had saved her and her family, and the utterly Mundane Simon he was now.

  
Shaking his head Simon tried fruitlessly to draw his thoughts to other things. The distraction was helped when he spotted a familiar set of overly broad, sickeningly so, shoulders up ahead.

Up ahead Simon could see Jon, Beatriz, and Julie in amongst a handful of other elites crowding around a corner all vying for a better vantage point. _Like hyenas scrapping over a carcass –_ Simon thought ruefully with a shake of his head.

Stepping around them to continue wandering aimlessly, Simon realized all too late what it was they were trying to see more of as he came around to face the scene that was unfolding. His stomach twisted with a violent lurch as he spotted a tall, wiry frame up ahead wrapped in paper like robes. Simon got the image of stitched eyes and lips and pale – too pale- skin as he saw this figure. There was another exciting the room along with Marquis and even from here Simon could see the look on the blonde’s face was bleak.

_~In his current condition even the warlock’s mundane healings will not save him~_

Simon shuddered at the voice that he could barely hear in the back of his mind. Like overhearing a radio frequency from a distance on a cheaper radio. The words were obviously not meant for Simon however he could hear it none the less. HE could also see Marquis’ shoulders droop and his face darken.

“He will not give his permission!... I mean he was bad after the fight...but Bane as there so he managed to get him out of there with fewer wounds and he managed to heal on his own...but this, he didn’t tell anyone he was going out!” Marquis voice was tight, strained and apparently barely held together.

_~The consequences of Karlyle AshShield’s actions are his and his alone!... It has happened in the past, that when one passes the remaining partner loses their drive to continue!~_

The words cut deeply into Simon as his whole body went rigid where he stood, half around the corner with the other Elites jostling behind him. Staring at the back of the blonde and two Silent brothers as they continued along away up the hall from him. The implications of what he had just heard were horrifying.

“The remaining partner loses their drive to continue”? What bond could they be speaking of except for the one they held most sacred? The bond between parabatai, the blood brother of a shadow hunter who swore to guard each other until the day they last drew breath. The other half of a person’s soul.

“Julie!” Simon had called the blonde before he had even realized he’d found his voice. His eyes snapping to the blonde who jumped faintly from where she had been straightening up, now that their show was disappearing around a corner.

“What?” she asked coolly her eyes running over Simon, in the same way, she often did that Simon assumed was her reassessing the stories she’d heard of him with the lacking self that was before her.

“Do you know anything about Karlyle AshShield?”

“ Are you an idiot Lewis? “ Jon cut in his voice had its usual condescending tone of righteousness. “Of course, we all do! He’s one of the few that faced off against Sebastian in the dark war other than your group and survived! Most others were either endarkened “ at this Simon caught Julie’s flinch from the other’s words, “or killed.”

“I had thought that he and his parabatai had fought them?” Simon asked.

“Well ...them and their best shadowhunter at the Institute. While the Institute shadowhunters were evacuated, they engaged his men further away to buy time.” Julie answered though there was a tightness to her eyes that Simon was starting to understand.

“... and what happened?”

There was a moment of silence amongst the Elites as they glanced to one another almost seeming to hesitate in answering this question. In admitting that anything bad had happened to a Shadowhunter. Had the man been killed?

“Well...they say that Karlyle returned to the Institute being half carried by his man. They never found his Parabatai.” Beatriz finally finished.

* * *

Simon lay awake for hours that night even after George had gone to sleep finalizing their usual nightly conversations about slime, the most current Jon Cartwright incarnation, and the suspiciously coloured spot on the floor developing just left of their door.

_“Never found.”_

That was what Beatriz and the others had said about Karlyle’s parabatai. And yet the Silent Brothers had said that his parabatai had passed. Maybe Simon had misunderstood. Maybe they had been speaking about a lover of some sort? After all, if the parabatai of someone as famous as the head of the London Institute seemed to be was killed, wouldn't Julie and the others have heard of it?

The thought twisted Simon’s stomach as he lay in silence further contemplating the implications. To be a shadow hunter was to live in the shadow of death. To understand that any one of them could be killed just as easily in a battle against the forces of evil that threatened to envelop the world. The reason that the shadow hunters did everything so fiercely is that they lived in the constant danger of losing their lives to the fight, and so they did everything young from what Simon had learned. They loved so greatly that once their hearts were given they almost never let go of that love –something he had seen in snippets of his memory with Jace, Alec and even more recently with Isabelle. They Married early and had families young, all because they might not have the chance to grow old and do those things.

The image of Isabelle parchment pale and covered in blood, her blood. Laying weakly in her brother’s arms as she bled heavily and lost consciousness came then to Simon, his heart wrenching in his chest and his eyes going wide. He could remember a time when he thought that he was going to lose Isabelle and being desperate to save her. How could someone go into battle knowing that they could walk out of it without the ones they loved. That someone they cared for could die so quickly?

Simon shook his head against the image that now seemed burned into the back of his eyelids, and he felt his breath hitch. Standing up sharply, he threw on a sweater he had brought with him and rushed out of the room, up the hall and racing up the stairs to the main floor. The image alone brought him barrelling out of the front doors to the institute at a breakneck run.

How could Jace go into battle with Clary at his side? How could Alec go with Jace and Isabelle with him? Some part of Simon knew he would feel crippled in terror of what could happen to them. Of what would happen to him if they died. The thought was strange to Simon as he wasn’t even really sure what it was that he felt for Clary and Isabelle and yet the thought of watching them die wretched and tore at a part of himself so deeply that he almost could not breathe.  
Simon didn’t stop until he stumbled and fell over something, his eyes going wide as his world suddenly tilted upwards as he collapsed forward his arms wheeling as he tried to save himself. His body hit the ground hard, and he lay there unmoving, his heart pounding in his ears and his mind reeling. When he was finally able to calm himself even a little he pulled himself up to his knees and twisted to see what it was he had tripped over in his blind dash.

What met his eyes was a set of Hazel fury, staring out from behind blonde bangs and out of a battered and pale skinned face. The rest of the person likewise battered, though less bloody than the last time that Simon saw him. He looked the crumpled form of Karlyle over and was relieved to see that even if he wasn’t healed as Simon would expect a descendant of the angels to be after a full day of recovering he was at least bandaged.

“...I’m sorry!... Um...did you need help up?” Simon asked as he pushed himself upwards and noticed that Karlyle appeared to have fallen while heading down the stairs to the Academy. Though how he had gotten all the way out here in his condition, Simon wasn't sure.

“I do not!”

Simon blinked at the curt reply as the other reached to grip the railing of the stairs and hoist himself up to a more regular sitting position. Karlyels's body was lurching into the side of the stairs for a moment a grunt leaving the blonde man. The loose fitting shirt he wore slipping down to reveal a pale neck and collar bone. Simon’s eyes almost shied away from the flash of skin only to still when he noted the faded rune over his collar bone.

Simon could not help but to stare at it as he felt his breath leave him in a whoosh of shocked gasps. Simon's eyes went wide, and his body became cold once more. He had seen that rune before, a piercing black against Jace and Alec’s pale skin. Their mark of bonding, their parabatai rune. And here it was silver and colourless, like a rune that had finished its purpose.

“...So he did die?” Simon cringed in horror as the words slipped out before he could stop them.

He hadn’t meant to say that, and he could see by the tension that gripped the older man’s body and the look that flashed across his face.

The silence that stretched out between them was thick, Simon fidgeting faintly as he looked towards Karlyle even as the blonde kept his hazel eyes trained on the mass of bandages and plaster that appeared to be his right leg. Simon was only noticing this now as he had followed his gaze. Blinking he flinched at the blood that he could see seeping from the bandages his eyes going wide.

“I’ll find Miss. Loss!”

“You will remain silent, or you will leave me be boy! “ Karlyle’s cold demand was as deadly in tone as he had been when he threatened Dean Penhallow.

Simon stared at the other with that same wide-eyed gaze that he had felt crossing his face as he had originally heard his refusal to be healed. He could see that same, defiant fury that had been evident in the other’s eyes as he had locked gazes with Catarina Loss.

The silence that continued after that was even longer and denser than the first one, Simon wanting to do something to help the other. Wanting to either bring him somewhere better than sitting in the dark on a cold set of stone steps. However, Simon suspected that even in that condition Karlyle could do him serious injury if he tried to touch him.

The silence continued, a burning feeling building in Simon’s chest as he watched the older man attempting to rise and failing several times. There was just something hopeless in the man’s eyes that bothered Simon; it was the look of a man who had given up on everything. Given up on life itself and wanted nothing more to do with it.

“He wouldn’t want you to die you know!!!” Simon cursed the word vomit even as it burst from him.

Flinching at the murderous look that spun on him as Karlyle turned a glare of such venenosity that Simon had a brief flash of memory of several demons he must have faced in the hell dimension. Shuddering he took a step back from the withering stare and ducked his head.

“What would you know of what my parabatai would want boy?” Karlyle’s tone was cold, betraying little of the obvious fury within him as he finally rose, seemingly from sheer force of will.

“I know that a parabatai is a bond that is more sacred to a shadow hunter than anything else. I know that when one is hurting so is the other. That the bond is so strong that you can feel your parabatai even when a considerable distance separates you.”

Simon wasn’t sure how he knew all of these things. The words were just bubbling to the surface along with flashes and images that he couldn’t grasp onto or truly understand. Still he knew that what he was saying was the truth as he could see the toll they were having on Karlyle as the Blonde almost staggered back at them.

“ I know that you love your Parabatai like the other half of your soul and that they complete you! So I am aware that no parabatai either living or passed would ever want the other half of themselves to die!” Simon finished confident in his declaration.

That confidence shattered at the cold laugh that poured out of the Brit as he held onto the railing with a white-knuckled grip and threw his head back with mirthless laughter. His face was pale, too pale, and his eyes that had been so brilliant the night before were a muted hazel now. The light and colour were draining out of the man even as the colour seemed to drain from every cell of his skin.

“ You are speaking of things you know not the truths of boy!” Karlyle mused.

Simon could feel himself bristle at the patronizing tone he could hear in the Sandy haired Brit’s tone as he shook his head and took one shaky step towards him, down the stairs. His body was trembling with visible exertion.

“You see this scar?” Karlyle inquired, pulling the front of his loose fitting shirt open to show his pale chest.

It took Simon a moment to be able to see well enough in the dark to see the ragged scar on the other’s chest, large in diameter. It was placed in the center of a rather intricate rune that had long since paled once its use had been completed and mostly enveloped by the scar. Simon felt a moment of sickening clarity as he realized it was right over the other’s heart.

“This is what My parabatai gave me!... He wanted me dead! He tried to kill me! So I drove my blade through his chest and didn’t stop twisting until he stopped moving!!”

Karlyle took another staggering step down the stairs latching out with shocking precision to grab onto Simon’s shoulder, gripping it in an almost crushing hold. Drawing him close as he stared him in the eyes.

“ I killed my Parabatai! The other half of my soul! ME! You people keep trying to save my life. But I'm already dead. I died alongside Henry.”

Simon stared at the other with widening eyes as Karlyle slumped into him then, all of his energy spent on the act of getting to Simon. He collapsed forward into Simon, and the two ended up toppling backwards as Simon scrambled to support him. Left sitting half sprawled on the lawn, an arm supporting the almost too light frame of the shadow hunter over him Simon paused to think about how on earth he was going to get Karlyle back into the Academy.

Luckily the answer came quickly in the form of voices from the main hall as witch lights came rushing from the doorway. Marquis at the head of the search party as he hurried out. “ There’s blood this way  
!” he was shouting back into the institute.

Seeing Simon as he was with Karlyle Marquise seemed to freeze before sighing as he shifted to hurry down the stairs to their side. Reaching to grab the other and pull him towards himself. His eyes gentle and filled with worry.  
  
“Oh, Karlyle!!!... Bloody hell mate, can’t you just let me heal you?” He whispered gently his voice worried. “ None of us want to lose you too... you’re like a father to us...”

He shook his head as the blonde groaned something that sounded very similar to “No healing” in a garbled way.

“Did he say anything?” Marquise gently asked as he looked up to meet Simon’s shocked eyes, his own pained and tired.

“... He said that he," Simon hesitated in answering the question before sighing. He knew that the older Shadowhunter deserved to know what his leader had said. "Well that he killed his parabatai!” Simon’s voice trailed off into a softer tone as he saw Dean Penhallow and Miss Loss coming racing down the stairs towards them.

The pained expression that crossed the other’s face was a flash of something shocking, a glimmer of the pure agony that Marquise was feeling at the revelation. Shaking his head though the Brit quickly stood up to help Catarina carry Karlyle inside.

Simon flinched as he looked down at himself, he could see that the other's blood had stained his pants and shirt. His eyes widening as the words he had hissed so angrily at him echoed through his brain. Of course, the other wouldn’t want to live if Karlyle had been the one to kill his parabatai. Simon could remember flashes of the bond he had once seen between Alec and Jace; he couldn’t imagine what either of them would do if their parabatai had died, let alone if they were the reason they were gone.

* * *

“ Man Si. You were out late?” George grinned as he regarded Simon’s sleep deprived eyes, half drooped shut even after having been threatened to be returned to a rodent status if he fell asleep in her class one more time.

“ Lewis!!” Simon’s retort was cut off as he blinked hearing Scarsbury calling for him as he entered the classroom, his eyes cold and his face grave. The expression stilled Miss. Loss’ instant retort to the sudden interruption.  
“He was asked for by AshShield....” That was the only explanation that he was given. And the words were not even directed at him but his teacher.  
Following after Scarsbury in silence Simon frowned at the possibilities. Why would the British shadow hunter call for him? Was he dying and he wanted to make sure that Simon never told anyone about what he’d done? Was he going to threaten him?

The first part of his fears were confirmed at seeing the expression he could see on Marquis’ face as they reached the room. The taller male was leaning against the wall his arms over his chest and his eyes a million miles away.  
  
“ Please... if you can bring him peace...then, at least, that will be something, If he doesn't let us heal him then he’ll die. He’s so close to it now.” Marquis straightened from his lean against the wall, his fingers gripping Simon’s shoulders before he finally turned and walked away.

Stepping into the room, Simon stared at the bed that was the only thing occupying the room. From here he could see Karlyle laying stretched out on the bed. His chest was rising and falling in shallow breaths and his skin wet with sweat and way too pale.

“You’re Lewis... “

Simon jumped at the words, having thought that Karlyle was asleep, and yet now he could see the other’s eyes fluttering open. His body was shuddering as he tried to drag himself to a sitting position, only half succeeding as he ended up leaning against the head of the bed with his shoulders. His eyes shutting around a grimace of pain.

“Yes. I am Simon Lewis. You’ve...heard of me?” Simon confirmed confused that this shadow hunter had heard of him.

“Yes. Many have heard of the daylighter that risked his life, to save our world. “ Karlyle confirmed his voice weaker than it had been even last night. “ so you understand. You saw what they were like...the endarkened!”

Simon blinked at that his eyes narrowing as he opened his mouth to refute this, to tell the other that the sacrifice he had spoken of had also taken away his memories. That he could no more distinctly remember the endarkened than the ones, he loved who had desperately wanted him to know them. Still there was a relief in the other’s face as Karlyle said that. Like he was grateful that someone knew what he had experienced himself.

“The others...Lovelace got them out, led them to safety while we bought time. They never encountered them. They were too young to battle against someone so like ourselves; we didn’t want to harm their sense of self. Bane...he was different. Never as fragile as some of the others, willing to do what he had to to protect...to fight...” Karlyle groaned softly as he rested his head back on the bed.

“So you faced them? Those turned? Did you meet the previous head of the London Institute?” Simon asked, finally sitting down beside him. His eyes studying Karlyle’s face, not liking the greyish tint the other had taken on.

  
“Yes... Willis was among them. He had been captured during the battle to stop Sebastian the first time. We didn’t know where he’d gone after the battle until then. But I stepped in to run things. He was with Sebastian...gladly showing him how to get into our institute, or he would have if we hadn’t received a warning and the three of us had been waiting.”

Simon could see the tension leaving Karlyle as he spoke; he obviously needed to talk about this to someone. That was the reason he had called for Simon.


	3. London

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For some it will forever be a legend, the fact that three of the London Enclave - two adults and their most promising young adult- faced off against Sebastian Morgenstern. The demon himself and lived to tell the tale. For Karlyle AshShield it is an open wound. Almost on his death bed the London Institute leader finally tells someone about what happened the day Sebastian tried and failed to capture the London institute.

London Institute 2007

There had been silence on the morning of the attack, too much silence that had left Karlyle tense as he stared out of his new office’s windows. There was a tension that ran through the entire city, like the calm before a storm. Turning his eyes away from the window the blonde sighed and ran his fingers over the heavy set ledger that was sitting before him along with the dozens of papers and books he had to go through.

He had never intended to run the institute; it was never his place to lead but with the attacks and the fights that had come so quickly after the war against Valentine the clave had had no choice but to assign him temporarily as the institute head. Karlyle suspected that there was an unyielding chance that unless Willis FreeShire were found safe and unharmed, then he would be finding that this position was more permanent than he wanted.

To say that he disliked the idea of being caged behind a set of four walls while his parabatai and the other London Institute shadow hunters fought was an understatement. After all, he was still so young to lead an institute.

“You’re already looking like a tiger in a cage” The words came as no surprise as Karlyle turned to meet the black haired male’s green-eyed gaze as he leant in his office doorway.

A cocky grin at having hit the nail on the head as it were was plastered all over the other’s face as Henry Clayfield rose a brow at the scowl that Karlyle could feel crossing his face. The expression only deepened with a loving kindness as he stepped forward, reaching out to touch his parabatai’s shoulder, able to sense the tension and starts of a claustrophobic attack.

“Peace brother!... you’ll be okay. This appointment is just temporary until they can assign another the position. It’s just because you’re so bloody old!” Henry smirked down at him.

“Watch the age jokes Clayfield. Remember who it is out of the two of us that is a year older than the other!” Karlyle laughed shaking his head.

Grateful for this man, the other half of his soul, as it always was Henry had come to him in his time of panic or need. As if sensing that he was needed he had arrived to ease the tension and growing terror that had begun to take its hold on Karlyle. Bringing him away from that thought and helping him do something miraculous...helping him laugh.

It was because of this ability his parabatai possessed that Karlyle had learned he could live after his fiancé, Margaret, had died in battle against Valentine’s forces. It was because of his brother of soul that he had always been able to piece himself back together when he was on the very verge of collapsing.

“Yeah well I’ve always looked younger than you, ya git!” Henry grinned more as he let go and grabbed a few of the papers that Karlyle had been looking over. “ boring...boring....boring....Bloody hell no wonder Willis took off. He probably just wanted a vacation from all this political bollix!” Henry griped throwing them back onto their piles with an exasperated huff.

“Possibly!” Karlyle mused, his lips twisting into a small smirk as he was pulled right along with his Parabatai’s jokes and airy ways.

“ Come on!!! Marquis and Mingli are trying to convince me to do some rounds...but I don’t feel like going! Maybe I could be convinced if I had my favorite old goat with me!!” Henry grinned waving his hands enthusiastically for Karlyle to follow along with him, the blonde doing so despite his better judgement.

“Watch it!!” Karlyle was in the middle of growling playfully, following his parabati out of his office and towards the stairs heading for the main lobby. He had only stepped onto the first step when a violent shaking had taken its hold over the entire Institute, rocking it wildly as wind threw the front doors open.

“DANGER...THE INSTITUTE ISN’T SAFE!!! GET TO SAFETYYY”

A loud voice seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere as out of the corner of Karlyle's eye, from where he’d grabbed onto the stairwell railing to avoid being thrown violently down the stairs Karlyle could see a shimmering image standing in the now open doorway.

A young woman dressed in the attire of one from a later period was standing surrounded by the doorframe, her eyes wild and her expression worried as she was throwing her arms about frantically.

“RUN!!!”

“Bloody hell!!!” Karlyle could hear Henry groan from where held had to roll out of the fall he had suffered from the sudden earthquake, now crouched at the foot of the stairs rubbing his shoulder and looking up towards the doorway himself.

When their eyes met as his parabatai turned to find his eyes, Karlyle could tell that he was not the only one seeing the woman in the doorway and that his partner was now taking things a hundred percent seriously! As the shaking stopped Karlyle rushed the rest of the way down the stairs to the dark haired man’s side his steele already out in his hand, his free one grabbing onto Henry’s shirt to pull it away. Drawing on his injured shoulder Karlyle was assessing the danger.

“...What danger? How much time do we have?” He asked, his eyes were flickering to the place the woman had been, not surprised that she was now gone. Nor was he surprised when no answer came to his question.

“Karlyle!!! What the bleeding hell was that!!!” 

The cry came from the dining hall where a short male with shoulder length straight black hair came scurrying from the other room his e yes wild and heavy two-handed broadsword held tightly between his hands. His eyes scanning the front hall as if he had expected to find them under attack.

“ I don’t know Mingli!” Karlyle sighed faintly as he met the Japanese shadow hunters’ wild gaze with his own. Turning away from Henry he walked hurriedly towards the weapons room gathering up some gear and making short work of changing into it as well as arming himself, not even needing to look to know that his parabatai was there as well.

When he immerged from the armory, he frowned spotting a familiar black haired youth now slamming the doors to the institute shut behind him. His skin wet with perspiration and his breath coming in heaving gasps. Karlyle frowned further as he realized just how hard and fast the kid had to have run to make him, especially that particular young so out of breath. His eyes took in the other’s runed skin and the gear he was wearing, and he sighed shaking his head.

“Bane you know you’re not supposed to hunt...and certainly not alone!” Karlyle jumped hearing Henry reprimand the other his eyes stern as he stepped forward to pull the black haired young man to a standing position and began examining him for damages.

“It's a bloody good thing I was...I ran into Bache!... He has sent out a citywide warning to all downworlders to get to safety....They’re here!!!” The black haired youth reported, his brown eyes meeting first Henry’s and then Karlyle's.

The relationship Bane had with the high warlock of London had always been a mystery to Karlyle but for once he was glad. Unlike other Warlocks, Bache had never curbed his prices for the institute and so they had often avoided using his services unless they had no other choice but in this instance it could have very well mean their survival coupled with the warning they had received.

“They?... you don’t mean Sebastian?” Mingli gasped, his voice taking on the odd combination of Japanese and British accents as his eyes went wide. Mingli seemed to for once have forgotten his and Bane’s apparent hate for one another as he stepped forward.

“Who else would the high warlock of London send out a city-wide warning for all downworlders?” Bane snapped. Apparently having not forgotten the feud on his end of things as he rolled his eyes at the smaller shadow hunter.

“ watch it you arse!!!” Mingli hissed angrily his eyes narrowing at the other before finally stilling as a hand was suddenly placed on his shoulder.

“What should we do Karlyle? Do we prepare to fight him?” 

Marquis, Mingli’s boyfriend and long-time partner asked from where he had come hurrying down the stairs, the few others that still lived here in the Institute with him. Each geared and ready for a fight.

Karlyle frowned as he regarded each of them with a look of concern, they were all so young. Many of them were just past eighteen years, with the few exceptions of Bane, Mingli and Marquise, who were each in their early twenties.

“No... we will not fight...Sebastian's men range in the hundreds, and we will quickly be overpowered. I will not see anyone of you endarkened or killed... we will have to leave the institute!” Karlyle felt as if he would be sick at the idea of leaving the institute to the demon spawn that was Sebastian Morgenstern and his dark army.

The murmurings of the others at this admittance was deafening for a moment as they all cried out that they wouldn’t leave the institute. That they would fight Sebastian and protect their home, that this was their jobs.

“It is not your jobs to die needlessly!” Henry spoke then, his calm, serious tone silencing the others as many knew that when Henry was serious, then his words were to be obeyed.

“Marquis you, Mingli and Helix will get the others out!... “ Karlyle ordered.

His eyes sweeping over the faces of the London shadowhunters one more time and lamented that their numbers were nowhere near what they had once been. Each of the three frowning but finally nodding, Helix being the youngest of the three named, just recently having come of age as he turned first to shove his younger brother with himself.

“Follow!” that voice came once more, as did the shimmering image of the woman, this time inside the institute. Followed by the flickering image of a young lady dressed in the clothes of someone from a long ago time.

Her face was grim and her eyes serious as she waved impatiently at the others who stared at her in shocked silence. It was only when Helix shoved at his brother once more to make him start moving that she turned and disappeared along the hall leading the others. Glancing back only momentarily at Karlyle her eyes worried but a reassuring smile on her lips before she went along with the others.

Karlyle glanced towards Henry at his side and was not surprised to find the other pulling a few more seraph blades out of his coat and strapping them to his hips to get ready for battle. He was however surprised to see Bane standing near them his arms folded over his chest and his eyes set sternly on him, almost defiantly.

“Bane!”

“Don’t bother Karlyle… I’m not leaving like some pup with my tail between my legs. Besides, you need me. If you hope to come back out of this alive, you need me!”

Karlyle wanted to curse the boy’s arrogance. However, he couldn’t. The black-haired youth with the brilliant blue eyes was completely right. Their only chances of surviving an assault from Sebastian and his men was to have the other, their best shadowhunter, with them.

“He isn’t wrong Kar’” Henry sighed shaking his head, and not for the first time Karlyle could see the gentle look that sometimes crossed Henry’s face whenever he looked at Bane.

It had something to do with the fact that Henry and Bane had both lived in the same institute before they had come to stay here in the London one almost twelve years ago. It also came from a shared background that neither shadowhunter would discuss, not even Henry with his parabatai of thirteen years.

“I know.”

* * *

The silence was what bothered Karlyle worst of all, the usual bustle of the streets around the institute seemed muted and deadly quiet, unlike anything he had ever seen. It was almost as if the mundane themselves sensed the oncoming battle and were avoiding it entirely by not being present. Karlyle wondered not for the first time just how involved the High Warlock of London was in instances like this, playing with the idea that he might have set up some glamour around the institute to keep them from getting involved.

 “…to quiet” Henry agreed, like always seeming to know exactly what Karlyle was thinking.

Nodding once in agreement Karlyle glanced to where he could see Bane crouched behind the statue across from them, an arrow notched to his bow string and a fierce expression on his face. He had only ever seen that look many times and that handful usually involved serious situations like this.

“He’ll be alright?” Karlyle inquired, trusting his parabatai’s knowledge of Bane’s skills as Karlyle himself had never seen the young man hunt before.

“He’ll be fine!... there are only two things that get ol’ Bane there fired up, threaten his institute and threaten his family,” Henry replied with a nod of his head and an almost affectionate tone to his words.

Karlyle frowned slightly at that, family?...as far as he knew the boy was an orphan, as were most of the youth who lived at the Institute of London. Shaking the confusion off Karlyle drew his seraph blade as he heard the first sounds in the otherwise deadly silence.

Feet were coming along the path through the front gates, the glamour that kept mundane from wandering into the institute’s front doors doing nothing against the people now making their way towards their ambush. Glancing one last time towards Henry Karlyle shifted into position.

“As you requested, sir I have brought you through to the Institute” a familiar voice was saying, the tone of one who is seeking to please someone.

Glancing around the statue that was his hiding place Karlyle felt his blood go cold as he spotted the man leading the group of about sixty that were arriving. From here Karlyle could see the all too familiar blonde hair that sat atop the tanned face of one who had been until recently a close friend.

Willis FreeShire was there before him, dressed now in the blacks that all endarkened seemed to wear, an almost mockery of Shadowhunters’ gear. His skin paler than Karlyle remembered and devoid of all of the markings the other had worn proudly for as long as Karlyle could remember.

“You have done well Freeshire! You shall be rewarded” The cold voice of the one in the center answered.

Narrowing his eyes against the bright morning sun, Karlyle could see a young man there among these seasoned warriors. His hair pale blonde and his features hard, his skin was the only ones that bore the marks of a shadowhunter, and he seemed all too pleased to be standing here upon the front steps of the instate.

The praise and promise of reward left Willis looking too happy with himself, something that made Karlyle’s stomach turn as he watched. The blonde falling in step with a brown haired woman to the visible leader’s right looking all too happy to return to the institute he had run until only a few weeks ago with a band of murderous mind slaves.

“Remember, we will kill the adults, the ones Willis have named. AshShield and Clayfield will not join and have killed too many of our brethren…the young ones, however. We will bring them into our fold! They will fight at our sides to free this world!”

The brown haired woman turned towards the one speaking, her face alit as if looking upon the blonde was the light of her life. Her mouth opened in an attempt to say something, her words, however, being cut off with a gasp and a grunt as her whole body reeled backwards. An arrow lodged firmly in her left shoulder.

“We took a vote!!!! We’ll pass you blooming Arse! So take you and your “filth” with you and sod off!” Bane shouted from where he had rounded the statue after firing, another arrow notched and drawn back pointed at the blonde.

“That is the one I told you of Sir… That is Bane! Damned near impossible to manage and yet one of the finest shadowhunters to ever cross our institute doors” Willis’s hissed words could be heard even from where Karlyle was.

“He wouldn’t be speaking on behalf of anyone else; he is more ally and friend to himself than anyone else. He has probably acted on his own. I know I could not control him when I led this institute “ the ex shadowhunter concluded before crying out as he was the next target.

Collapsing under the arrow that was now sticking out of his left thigh and snarling insults at Bane who drew again as easily as drawing breath. His arrows were flying rapidly now as he moved just as quickly down the stairs. The initial shock of his attack broke as the endarkened lunged forward to meet him, slicing his arrows out of the air as they ran now, circling towards him as if trying to trap him amongst themselves.

“He lives! Bring him to me!” The blonde yelled over the commotion his minions twisting towards the sounds of his voice even as they moved.

There…the boy had left his back open. Nodding to one another Karlyle turned to complete the rune they had pre-drawn on the statue. A great rumbling preceding as the granite gave way and cracked and the pieces of the statue fell towards where Bane was standing below.

With a shout, the endarkened scattered, leaving Bane open to dance away his bow forgotten as he drew his seraph blades.

“Ambriel!!!” Bane’s voice cried out as his sword flashed to life and he roared into battle.

Henry moved just as quickly as Karlyle had and he took off racing along the border of the front court keeping himself to the shadows as much as possible and soon he was lost to Karlyle’s sight even as 

Karlyle himself lunged from the stairs with a cry of his own. Leaping over the fallen statue to bring his sword down on an endarkened who had come at Bane from behind and was attempting to get his arm around the youth’s neck.

The battle was violent as Karlyle and Bane twisted around one another fighting the mass of men and women who were now quite clearly trying to kill them. Their unruned skin too pale to Karlyle, who was used to seeing the markings of the angels along his comrade's flesh. The faces of these men and women coming to him in flashes as he recognized them now and then from the years he had lived and come and gone from Idris.

Bane in front of him was panting with exertion and covered in blood, both his own and that of their enemies. Karlyle was almost wishing that they had not involved the boy in this as he would have to bear the burden of having killed their comrades. Shaking that thought away, Karlyle turned in a sharp pivot to bring his sword up to protect himself from a dagger that was aimed for his throat. His eyes widening with horror as he came face to face with Willis.

The blonde’s eyes were cold and distant, his face twisted in an almost vicious snarl as every inch of his expression promised him pain. Despite the gaping wound in his thigh, Willis proved to be a tough enemy who was easily driving Karlyle back. Sending him stumbling up the stairs a few steps only to shout a war cry as he used the greater height to his advantage as he lunged downwards at the other throwing him backwards once more.

Karlyle had just gotten Willis under himself, an arm across his throat and his dagger hand pinned. “ Stop this… stop it, Willis…what are you doing?...you’ve only ever thought of the Institute…why are you helping them?”

Even as he asked though Karlyle could answer that very question himself. Because this wasn’t Willis any longer. There was none of the smiling man who had patiently reprimanded Karlyle and Henry for their antics or taught the other youth to fight here in the institute or sought to continue a maintained peace with the downworlders of London. There was nothing of the man who Karlyle had always looked up to inside the eyes that he was staring down at. All that was left was a cold, cruel shell who wanted nothing but to serve Sebastian and help him hurt their people.

Before Karlyle could do more than come to this realization, however, he felt a painful tearing in his side that he knew instinctively had absolutely nothing to do with himself. His breath left him in a horrified gasp as his eyes shot upwards to where he knew his parabatai was. The other having circled and attempted to attack Sebastian, just like they had all planned.

The problem was that he had done just that, alone. And from here Henry could be seen, his eyes wide as he stumbled in shock his blade falling from his fingers and a sword was buried deeply in his side, protruding from the other side wet with his blood.

“HENRY!” Karlyle cried as his body moved of its own accords, lunging up from the ground and grabbing for his sword as he took off. Fighting to get to his parabatai’s side.

The problem was that the Endarkened had no intentions of letting him through quickly. In fact they seemed to throw themselves in between Bane and Karlyle, the youth also attempting to charge towards their comrade. Gladly forcing them to fight for every inch that they gained towards Henry.

Karlyle felt his blood going cold as he spun after taking down one particularly significant Endarkened that Karlyle remembered was once Gale Heathstorm. An excellent shadowhunter who had lived in London with his wife and two kids and came to the institute when there were times of need but otherwise raised his daughters as any ordinary man would. However now he was dead at Karylyles feet and what was worse was the image that came into view.

Henry was bleeding badly from where he knelt on the cobblestone courtyard, his left arm hanging uselessly at his side, the muscles of his left side probably severely severed do to the wounding. His eyes were fiery, however, and he had a dagger in his hand as he lunged at the blonde standing above him now. The other laughing as he smacked the weapon aside and lunged, much like a snake would attack.

“Henry!”

Karlyle flinched as he heard that cry and he turned a surprised gaze towards where Bane was being restrained by a good number of the endarkened who were seemingly still trying to capture the youth for their master.  The look on Bane’s face was horrifying as he was so obviously desperate to save the other.

Things seemed to be moving so slowly now, too slowly as Karlyle pressed against the arms latching at him to hold him back. Watching with horror as Sebastian had Henry’s hair in one hand, his head jerked violently backwards. His lips pressed to the other’s ears, and he was speaking to him.

Karlyle felt the blood drain out of his face as he watched how pale his parabatai grew as his eyes widened and filled with horror. There was an apparent fear in those eyes as he shook his head violently and his working hand went to another of his daggers. This time however instead of attempting to stab Sebastion the dagger’s blade was turned upon himself as he moved to slash towards his throat.

Karlyle’s whole body jerked violently as he could not help but to twist his head away desperately trying to avoid the image of the other half of his soul slicing his own throat. What in hellsfire had brought such a desperation to his parabatai? The answer came too slowly to          Karlyle as he did not feel the bond sever with death or the lingering pain of his parabatai.

Dragging his eyes back around Karlyle stared in opened mouth horror at what was now happening in front of them. Henry was being restrained, his dagger useless in his hold as the brown haired woman Bane had attacked previously held it up in the air and out of the way, having taken over the hold in his hair.

Sebastian himself was leaning over Henry a wicked gleam in his face and a cup held between his fingers, the cup tightly pressed to Henry’s lips and tilted back, forcing him to drink from it. Henry’s whole body was convulsing and writhing even as he screamed against the cup and the liquid pouring down his throat.

That was when Karlyle felt the snap happen. It was so violent that it left him reeling backwards, his knees buckling as the bond they had shared for almost thirteen years severed suddenly. The cord cut and leaving Karlyle to retch and heave as bile rose in his mouth tears streaking down his cheeks as he gasped.

“Karlyle!!!” Bane cried out as he strained against the endarkened holding him.

“Stop!”

The order was sudden and drew Karlyle’s head upwards to stare dumbfounded at the Willis, who stood over him, a sword only inches from where he had been about to sever Karlyle’s head from his neck. As he was now, however, Willis had stilled at his master’s words turning instead to face Sebastian, who stood straight now, his eyes alight with a sick amusement as he regarded Karlyle.

“Henry….” The voice that croaked that name…could that really be his?

Karlyle blinked once as he tried to lick his lips and clear his eyes. His body shaken as he rocked backwards, searching for the other with desperate eyes. Henry, where was he?

“It must hurt shadowhunter. To feel your bond to your parabatai being severed. “ Sebastian smoothly murmured as he stepped towards him, his face cold and pleased as Karlyle could not help but to recoil. “ But I will offer you peace. Join with me and you will once again share a bond with your blood brother. A permanent bond that will never break!”

“Join us” Willis agreed, nodding his head eagerly as he turned to face Karlyle. His sword lowered now as he regarded him calmly. “Join us Karlyle! “

“ I will not bathe this world in blood!” Karlyle snapped shakily. His body trembling with the exertion it took to stand, his voice still strained and his throat raw.

“Oh Kar’”

Karlyle flinched at the name, and he pivoted sharply. His eyes widening in horror at the face that was suddenly before him now. Henry was now standing before him, his eyes studying Karlyle, his side was no longer bleeding as heavily, and he seemed unhindered by the lingering damage. He was pale, however, far more ashen than Karlyle had ever seen the other. Still this was Henry; he was right there. Looking almost as if nothing had happened.

Except it had! Karlyle told himself as he noticed that like the others around them, Henry’s skin was suddenly bare of all marks. What was worse was the look that Henry had in his eyes. Those eyes had always seemed to Karlyle like endless pools that showed every flickering emotion that ever passed through his parabatai. Now however they were like ice. Cold and distant.

“Come on Kar!... you never wanted to run an institute anyway… serve with me!” Henry appealed to the part of him that Karlyle had always relied on the other to strengthen. The part that wanted nothing to do with the responsibility of leadership.

“It’s so easy! Just drink and you’re free!” Henry’s words were soft, alluring. The corners of his lips curled up in a smirk.

It was that smirk coupled with the look in his partner’s eyes that drew Karlyle backwards and away. Henry never smirked, he grinned!... a full contagious grin that always drew everyone around him in on his fun, like he wanted the whole world to enjoy his antics. Never would he look at him so callously and smirk like that.

And he would never tell me to run from my responsibilities karlyle reminded himself with a shake of his head.

“You’re not my parabatai!” Karlyle hissed as he drew another Seraph blade, “Nuriel!!!”

What happened next happened too quickly for Karlyle to follow as he lunged at the other, intend on throwing Henry down and away as he wanted to go after Sebastian himself. He knew that it was probably impossible for him to kill the kid but at the very least he could do enough damage to force them to retreat, hopefully giving Bane a chance to escape.

What ended up happening, however, was the world stopped suddenly as his forward momentum was halted and Karlyle was left staring in stunned stillness at Henry. His parabatai had stumbled backwards in shock at his sudden attack and yet here he was in front of Karlyle now. His body between Karlyle and Sebastian, his face no longer passive and almost pleasant.

There was rage there now his eyes alight with fury as he glowered at Karlyle as if to say “ how dare you!!”. There was also a burning pain in Karlyle’s right shoulder that with a sudden twist of Henry’s arm drew a gasp of pain from the other as he turned his eyes from Henry’s face to stare in a dazed stupor at the blade that was imbedded hilt deep in Karlyle’s shoulder.

Warm blood was running down his chest, and Karlyle could feel the air leave him as his right lung probably collapsed. Choking on the hot blood that filled his mouth Karlyle gasped and coughed, spitting to free his mouth even as he screamed as the blade was twisted once more and driven even further.

“You should have taken his offer, Kar. Now you’re a dead man!!!” Henry’s voice whispered into his ear as the other grabbed Karlyle’s hair with his free hand, drawing his head back to meet those cold green eyes. “Pray to your angel Karlyle AshShield. You’ll be meeting him and your fiancé now!”

It was the words of Margaret that caught Karlyle’s attention and at that moment, it was almost as if there was a flickering of the rune that had always resided over his heart. A flare of his bond between this man and him that had always let them speak without words

“KILL ME!!! Do not leave me a slave! Please, Kar’! Please brother!”

Karlyle bit down on the cry of pain as forcing his right arm to move drew so much pain that Karlyle saw black spots that threatened to take his whole vision. He swung his blade, somehow still clutched in his hand.  In all honestly Karlyle wasn’t expecting this attack to do anything, it was too broad and easily reflected.

And yet at that moment the blade of his sword drew violently across Henry, digging deeply into the flesh of his chest and sending him stumbling backwards. His eyes wide and wild as he swung his arms for balance. Karlyle was refusing to give him even a moment to recover as he followed him, his sword plunging straight into Henry’s chest.

Stumbling into the other Karlyle couldn’t do anything to stop as his body collapsed along with Henry’s the two of them laying crumpled upon the cobblestone. His eyes staring down into the face he knew almost better than he knew his own reflection. He could see Henry, or the endarkened that he had turned into, trying to process what was happening. Even as his blood spilled out beneath him, spreading out across the courtyard under them.

“I’m sorry brother!... By…the angel….so sorry!!!” Karlyle gasped as he met those same green eyes, which were now dimmed and wide. Shock evident in them as they stared up at him before finally going dark as the last of his breaths left him.

It probably would have been his death then, since Karlyle could not feel his body any longer. It was as if by watching Henry die he too had taken the first steps down the bath into the afterlife, and he knew that he would die soon. He would die by this bastard’s men, and he would return to his parabatai’s side and see his fiancé, his mother his family. He would not be alone in this place, alone in this cage.

Karlyle could hear what was going on around him as if through ears filled with cotton and from a considerable distance. He could hear Bane’s voice as he swore and promised death to every last one of them. He could hear that Morgenstern boy saying something… he listened to the clamoring of the other Endarkened around him. But they didn’t matter. He couldn’t pay them any attention as they were not Henry. He only wanted them to get on with finishing him off as he lay where he had fallen, his own blood mingling with and joining with Henry’s below them.

Karlyle cried out in pain as he was grabbed, his prone body being dragged upwards and away from Henry despite how desperately Karlyle attempted to cling to his parabatai. His eyes foggy and unfocused as someone hauled him upright and he felt his good arm thrown over a shoulder that bore his considerable weight. Black hair came into view as Karlyle’s head lulled into the shoulder of the one holding him upright. Blinking a few times Karlyle could see Bane straining to keep him standing.

Blinking once more Karlyle managed to drag his heavy head upwards to look at what was happening before him, sensing more than anything that something of importance was going on. Had the enclave come? Had Idris opened a portal and sent their warriors through to save them? Was that why he could hear shouting and anger?

What he hadn’t expected to see was that same girl from before. Her eyes were filled with fury as she stood over the body of Henry the Endarkened nearest her writhing and scrambling away as they shouted in pain. Sebastian himself was stumbling backwards as if thrown. Karlyle frowned as he blinked once more. No…it wasn’t just that girl..there was another… a figure clad in modern gear who stood beside the girl their backs to Karlyle and bane and their attentions entirely on the endarkened.

“Go Kar’. The enclave has opened a portal in your study… go now… we’ll hold them off!” Henry’s voice was soft again like Karlyle had always known it. His eyes were that same gentle, lovingly kind gaze he remembered as he turned towards them.

“I cannot hold this for long…Bane…get him out…get him safe!”

Karlyle couldn’t help the scream of denial that ripped out of him as his body was turned away from the two before them and half dragged and half carried up the stairs and into the institute. This was wrong! He was supposed to die here alongside his parabatai. He was meant to die in battle with his parabatai against Sebastian.

 

* * *

Idris 2007

Simon was left staring at Karlyle with wide-eyed, opened mouth shock. Sure he had often heard about Sebastian and the horrible deeds he had done. Hell, he had even managed to remember some of them over time, including but not limited to the deaths of his close friend Jordan and his sire Raphial…but to hear the account of someone who had fought him in battle. It left Simon shuddering to contemplate how truly terrifying Sebastian had been.

“…I was mostly unconscious by that point, and Bane had to drag my bleeding carcass through the Institute and to the portal. By the time, we stumbled through it into Idris I had only barely enough blood left in me to survive and not even half the will to do the surviving.”

Karlyle’s eyes were hard icicles as he stared at the wall in front of him, shaking his head as he gripped the blankets laying over his legs in a white-knuckled grip. His body trembling with what Simon could only assume was rage.

“Don’t you see? I was supposed to die that day… and yet they keep 

“Saving me”…they keep forcing me to live. “

Simon frowned faintly at that and then shook his head. He could understand the regret this man obviously had for having had to kill his parabatai. But there was one thing that was so obviously being overlooked by Karlyle.

“Didn’t you say you thought you heard him asking you to end him?”

“I was bleeding badly, fatally wounded! I was delusional!”

“I don’t believe that!” Simon frowned as he rolled his shoulders and leaned forward. “ you said it yourself. The Endarkened weren’t who they had once been! Willis, who you described as someone who had only ever done his best to lead and protect the Institute, was suddenly so willing to lead Sebastian into it and help him take the others? Doesn’t sound like him…

“Neither does it seem like Henry was himself!...he tried to kill himself before Sebastian could turn him. You only did what he asked of you. Set him free of the binding that would have left him a slave of Sebastian destined to continue killing shadow hunters and their children and then to die when the infernal cup was destroyed! “

Karlyle flinched when Simon was finished, his eyes wild and wounded. Reminding Simon not for the first time of a wild animal who was cornered. Making him wonder how long Karlyle had held onto this as the only thing fueling his day to life. He was so obviously opposed to anything other than that he should have died and that he deserved death.

“What happened to him? Afterwards? Did Sebastian…” what? Take him? Burn him? Did the enclave refuse to acknowledge his existence after being turned?

“…Bane and I burned him when we returned. We never told anyone…just that he stayed behind to hold them back” Karlyle frowned a little and sighed as he picked at the threads of the blanket. “Bache had been nearby as I suspected and he had taken Henry. He knew that we wouldn’t tell them and that we would want to burn him ourselves….”

The silence after that admission continued for a long time and soon Simon felt almost like a silent spectator at the emotions that were waring over Karlyle’s face. There was a long moment of awkwardness as an almost blinding pain held sway there before it was pressed back behind that angry expression once more.

“I don’t know much about the man you knew…but I can say that If my friend Jace’s parabatai had been turned, then he would have set him free… and vice versa… neither one would have left their parabatai to such a fate, nor would they blame the other for freeing them.

“ Your brother wouldn't have stayed long enough to help you escape if he blamed you….”

Simon couldn’t help the feeling of his stomach twisting at the idea of Jace or Alec going through this. Hell, what would he have done? If Simon had had someone who he was so close to that he was like the other person’s other half and had to kill them? Or watch them die? Shuddering Simon sighed as he looked back up at Karlyle only to jump as the older man’s eyes were locked on him. The look inside of them was unreadable.

“ I umm… sorry, I’m just making guesses!!” Simon yelped as he rose his hands defensively. His own eyes widening a fraction before calming as Karlyle seemed to set his jaw and nod his head, looking away.

“You’re right….”

Simon blinked in stunned silence at the other’s admission that Simon was right. Simon bit back the impulse to ask the other what he was right about. Seriously he had said many things recently still that didn’t seem important to him any longer. There was something about the way Karlyle said it that kept the question back; it was as if something had eased in the older shadow hunter.

“ I’m done speaking Lewis… please leave now.”

“ Oh uhh yeah sure..” Simon blinked but scrambled up from his seat as he made his way towards the door. Glancing back to where he could see Karlyle staring into nothing, his expression dazed and far off.

“Did… he say anything?” Marquis’s voice made Simon jump as he stepped out of the room his eyes wide as he spotted the other leaning across from the doorway his eyes intent.

Simon opened his mouth to reply only to blink in surprise as he realized that Marquis wasn’t the only person that was waiting. Seated on the floor next to him was George and between them was a set of cards that were spread out between them as if they had been spending the time playing a card game.

“Uhhh… George?”

“Hey, Si!” George grinned up at his roommate before smiling brightly “stop the bussssss.”

“What ???” Simon blinked at his roommate as if the other had lost it.

“ “Stop the bus”” George repeated grinning broadly as he held his cards up indicating his hand. “ it’s this exciting card game that Marquis has been teaching me!”

Glancing towards the blonde Simon rose a brow seeing the other scowl faintly. “ and the bleeding git has won the last two hands straight!!” He sighed only to quirk his head as if he could hear something. A moment later a faint “Marquis” rang out from Karlyle’s room and the blonde straightened up.  “ Sorry Georgey… we’ll have to finish this later! Call it another win on your part if you want.”

With that Marquis stepped across the hall towards the door, his eyes finding Simon’s as if saying “ thank you” as he disappeared into the room with a soft clicking as the door shut itself behind him.

“ Oh drats, I’m sure I would have won that time too!!” George pouted before shrugging. “ Oh well, what can you do?” And with that, he gathered the cards after checking Marquis’ hand and beaming happily to himself.

“so what did the guy want with you Si?” George asked once they were making their way towards the dining hall.

“Hmmm, I think to tell someone his story before he died…” Simon admitted before sighing seeing the worried expression on George’s face. “ I don’t think he’s going to die something felt different when I was leaving.”

“ Hmmm, I’d hope so!” George sighed as he distracted himself with getting himself some dinner.

Simon tried not to think about the things that Karlyle had described to him, but he was finding it hard to do as he shook his head at times. Some of the things he had heard making other things he could hardly remember about Sebastian and his Endarkened one's float to the surface.

“Ugg I seriously dislike those guys!” Simon’s ears perked up as he heard Jon Cartwright’s words as he was passing. “ they’re creepy!!”

“Quiet Jon! They’re the silent brothers!” Julie chided before shivering. “ Besides, I heard that they can read your mind and hear things anywhere near them… so you wouldn’t want them to hear  you!”

Turning Simon caught Julie’s arm in his momentarily, letting go after a moment to avoid being stabbed or otherwise attacked. His task of making her stop and turn towards him accomplished. Along with earning him a nasty glare.

“What?” Julie snapped irritably.

“I thought the Silent Brothers had left… why are you talking about them?” Simon hurriedly asked in an attempt to distract her from her annoyance.

“Because we just saw them coming back…they were with Dean Penhallow and she was leading them upstairs as we were coming in!” Beatriz explained from behind Jon with a shrug saying they had no other information.

With the question answered the three made their way along leaving Simon to stare after them, a fluttering of hope in his chest. Had Karlyle finally agreed to be healed?


	4. Chapter 4

Simon’s brow furrowed as he shifted in his sleep, his eyes flickering behind his closed eyelids and his body tensing as he struggled against the unconsciousness that left him trapped. His mind running wild with the thoughts of his greatest fears.

“Simon!!!” That gentle voice called from behind him, all too familiar with that part of himself that Simon was not aware of yet.   
His eyes swiveled around to face the flame-headed girl that he knew and yet did not. Clary’s pixie like face turned up towards him, that same gentle smile she always wore beaming up at him as she reached out towards him. Her eyes were imploring, the words clearly written in them. “ Please, Si’...I miss you! Miss what we had!”

The feelings were clear as day as it shown out of her even as she waited so patiently for him to turn to her entirely. To have him acknowledge her in his own way. She was only ever patient even when her emotions revealed her true hurt at their distance. She stepped forward her hands reaching out for his own.  
“Clary! what are you doing here?’ Simon’s own words surprised him as he looked around for the first time realizing he had no idea where “here” was.

Casting his eyes around Simon’s brow furrowed as he saw the chaos that surrounded them. Nephilim, Endarkened, and Werewolves writhed against one another in a vicious battle. Blood washing the fields around them and bodies lining the hills. The ground slick with it.

“give me the sword” Clary implored as she reached outwards and snatched a sword from his hand that Simon hadn’t even been aware that he was holding. Staring at it in a stunned stupor even as it left his hold and found it’s way into her own Simon could only blink as she turned and her small frame lost amongst the chaos around them.

“Clary!!!!”

Images flashed across his mind, horrible images of what could happen if someone attacked Clary, her small body broken and bleeding under the blade of an Endarkened set on killing her. Shaking his head Simon tore off towards where she had disappeared. His eyes found many familiar faces as he moved.

Magnus Bane, wounded and bleeding. His armor wet with his blood, his fingers delved into Alec Lightwood’s hair as the younger male kissed his all too pale lips to give him energy…Isabelle was protectively standing near them, trying to make sure that no one attacked during their most vulnerable moment.

This was a memory, the ache in his chest made this all too clear to Simon even as his mind scrambled to cling to the images now playing themselves in his subconscious. He could see the absolute terror in Alec’s face as he pressed a pale hand against the still bleeding gash in Magnus’ chest. The fear of losing a loved one suddenly to battle…how quickly life could end.

Simon’s body began to move without his conscious thoughts, each step bringing him closer to Isabelle. His eyes seeking hers and holding firm as he wanted to assure himself that she was unharmed, that she was safe. The image darkened as instead of the relieved expression that held its place on the black haired lightwoods face, a look of pain replaced it, and Isabelle was suddenly lying bleeding and all too pale in her brother’s arms.

“Izzyyyyyy”

Simon jerked himself upwards his eyes flying wide and his hand outreached as it had been in his sleep.

“Shittt!! “ The gasp from across the room hit Simon’s ears a moment before he could hear the sound of heavy breathing that wasn’t his own. “ ..Si? You okay mate?”

He was not okay, Simon knew that. He could feel his whole body violently shaking as he sat up his eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room and his heart hammering furiously in his chest. His lungs were heaving for air as Simon shuddered and he brought his hand to his face. Running his cold fingers over his face he was shocked to find and grateful for the darkness that hid his tears that wet his cheeks.

“y...eah” Simon swallowed around the lump in his throat before taking a deep breath and trying again. “ Yeah… I'm all right. Sorry George!”

Simon hated how much his voice still shook even as he felt his heart, at last, calming. Felt his trembling limbs stilling and he could feel the silence coming once more. They were just memories; they were mingling and coming at the worst possible times, but they were memories and Simon knew that Isabelle was fine. He had seen her only a few weeks ago, and she was not dying in her brother’s arms.

“...want to talk about it?”

Simon thought about his roommate’s offer, weighing the possibilities of sharing the horrors of seeing Isabelle laying in front of him bleeding. Finally, he sighed and lay back down on the bed and closed his eyes. Finding that image still lingering behind them he could do nothing but drag them open once more.

“It’s just been this business with the London, Institute leader. His story about his Parabatai. I think it’s making me think of the things I can’t remember fully. It’s touched something inside of me and jarred a few ...painful memories loose…”

“Of Isabelle Lightwood?” George inquired calmly in his usual quiet way.

“ Yes. I...remember a time...when her skills in battle were overpowered...she was hurt..badly...near death!....so much blood.”

Simon had to stop once more as his throat closed up and his body trembled once more as the image re-emerged. Shaking his head he ran his fingers over his face and looked at George in the darkness. Simon had the distinct impression that his roommate was likewise watching him.

“It makes me worry. I mean it can all happen so fast. We will be finding ourselves in extremely dangerous situations… one wrong move could mean our deaths. It’s honorable for us to die in battle fulfilling our duty. But what happens to those left behind?

“ What happens to those of we leave behind who have to mourn and cry? That pain is something that will never go away!” Simon frowned at the thought of suffering through losing Isabelle. Or even Clary. The part of himself that could barely remember those two, the part that was separate from the Simon he was now, ached like his own heart had been stabbed at the thought.

“That is part of the risks we take becoming what we are working to become Si. But we also gain the strength to protect those same people… we can become their shields?” George’s voice was soft as he spoke.

The words however only made Simon frown as he shook his head against their implications. Sure they could become their shields, but that would also mean that they could become the one who died… and he had already experienced the pain and suffering of those that loved him having lost him. He experienced it every time he looked at Clary or Isabelle, even every time he spoke with Jace.

They were looking for the Simon that he didn’t know how to be yet. They were mourning the friend that they had lost and whose shadow he walked within, hoping desperately to become worthy of filling. Simon did not want to think about what would happen if they were to watch him die once more...how could he put his friends through that pain again? But how could he avoid such a thing from happening?

The only way would be to become stronger, to become a hero that would shield his friends and would stop needing their protection. He wanted that to happen; he needed that. That the next time that Isabelle and Clary were in danger, it could be Simon who stood between the danger and them rather than Magnus, Jace or even Alec.

* * *

The morning lessons had for some unknown reason were canceled, not that Simon was particularly complaining about with how little sleep he had managed to get thanks to his dreams the night before. He yawned as he followed his roommate and the other Dregs into their classroom to sit on their side of the room as they had been instructed.

Rubbing his eyes once to clear the sleep from them Simon blinked as he realized that not even Miss. Loss was in attendance. Instead, Dean Penhallow stood at the front of the class facing them. Just behind her, a male stood leaned against the wall in an almost obliviously casual way. Dammit did all Shadow-hunters step out of a freaking magazine? He could totally do a photoshoot with Isabelle and Jace in that Badass magazine…

The surprising thing about their special guest was that he only appeared to be a few years older than Simon himself. His body broad and muscled, his visible skin scared and marked like a shadowhunter often was, and his face was filled with hard lines. His jaw set in a faint scowl and his thick arms crossed over his face, his biceps was bigger than Cartwright’s. His hair was a mess of Black that was obviously disarrayed as if he had just gotten out of bed, ran his fingers through his head and said “ yes that’s all i need” and came straight here. Simon furrowed his brow a little and damn didn’t he look just fine with it. Where Simon's own hair became an unruly mess if he didn’t do something with his.

“ Good Morning everyone! We have a special guest who has agreed to finish off our lessons about the endarkened!” Dean Penhallow explained as she greeted each of them with a gentle smile. “ This is Ummm… Bane… err… “ She trailed off with a small furrow of her brow as her eyes flickered towards the male in question.

“ It’s Just “Bane”... no last name” The other corrected as he stepped forward, away from the wall his eyes trailing over the faces of those in the class. Regarding the faces of the Elites who stared at him with reverence and the dregs who eyed him curiously.

Of course, their class would find this male a fascination, he and his institute had been the topic of many conversations the last few days, and Simon had heard almost as much about Bane - the London Institute’s top hunter- as he had Marquis and Karlyle.

“Very well… “ Dean Penhallow nodded her head politely, her brow rising at the other’s refusal of his bloodline’s name. Something Simon was rather surprised at with how important bloodlines were to shadowhunters.

“I came for one reason, and that was to give my regards to my leader… he is the reason I am here...asked me to speak to you kids about how lucky you have it!” The words were calm and calculating, leaving nothing to speculation along with the sneer that it ended in as Bane shrugged his shoulders flippantly.

Stalking across the room his eyes locked on each of their faces. His promising many things, glory, battle, fear...so many things flashed through those eyes as Simon’s turn came to meet them, and he swore that his moment was a small fraction longer than the others.

“ You will have many chances to show your worth in battle; you will find your place at the sides of your brothers and sisters here in this class. You will fight alongside one another, and you will bleed… you will draw blood. You will kill!... but never will you have to stare into the eyes of your brethren, forcibly turned and watch as their souls die! You will never have to see their bodies rise, and their mouths part as words are spoken that are not their own.

“ you will never have to watch as something that is not your comrade walks and fights and talks as if it is.” Bane’s lips curled up in another sneer and his eyes crackled with fire. “ That horror has passed, and if we are very lucky, we will never have to witness such a horror again. Those of you who have suffered the fate of a loved one becoming an endarkened, know that the blood that washed their hands...that they spilled and reveled in. Was not theirs… They died the moment that Sebastian forced them to drink from that damned cup!”

The silence in the room that followed was a heavy one and yet Bane did nothing to fill it. He had turned himself away from them momentarily his body unwinding from how tense it had become as he had begun speaking. Leaning his head backward to stare up at the ceiling Bane’s black locks hid his face from view momentarily before those same fierce eyes once more locked onto the eyes of those watching him with bated breaths.

“Some of you will make fine Shadowhunters...others of you will fall...and even fewer….will run from the tasks ahead of you!” the words were a promise, not a statement.

“I think I know who he’s talking about!!!” Jon Cartwright hooted as he threw a pencil towards Sundil a few of the other elites chuckling cruelly as they whispered about the dregs.

“What do you know of this boy?” The sudden chill in the class drew Simon’s glare away from Jon’s face to stare in stunned silence at where Bane now stood between Sundil, the pencil in his hand. How had he moved that fast?

Apparently Jon was thinking the same thing as were everyone in the room. Staring in opened mouthed shock, Jon rocked back in his seat twisting his head to avoid as the pencil was suddenly imbedded in the wall behind his seat. Following the path it had taken it was obvious that it had been thrown back like one would throw a knife.

“...When you meet the faces of your enemy be they demon, rogue or your kind… Will you stand and fight? Or will you run? “ The growl came from Bane as he locked his eyes on Jon’s. “ Will you choose to give up your lives for others or will you quake at the idea of death?will it become the deciding factor in your lives?

“ We Nephilim love passionately and will all that we ar. We do everything early and young. We find love young, we marry young, we have families young, because our lives are a violent and dangerous one...but we are what stands between the mundanes and demons… creatures that do not care for the mundanes or Nephilim. They would devour this world and leave it as ash as quickly as we breathe.”

Simon could feel his body thrumming with every word that Bane spoke, understanding a deep ache as he nodded along with the older hunter’s words. He could still remember the image of that world from his dreams, the demon dimension, and each of the other’s words spoke to the parts of himself that Simon had felt shaken these last few days.

“ The point is not to fight blindly towards glory...it is to know why you fight… to know for who you fight. To strive to do what is right… or wrong...but to throw your whole selves into the act. Because if you are divided, torn. That is when you will get yourself and others hurt!” Bane’s eyes swept over the faces over the class before rolling towards the ceiling as he heard a small sound as Dean Penhallow cleared her throat.

Sitting on the edge of Miss Loss’ desk Bane drew his arms across his chest once, and he settled in his body tense a moment as he finally sighed. “I watched three of my institute leave to join the battle against Sebastian… only two of them returned.

“ I then met the one that did not come back. He had been turned and now gladly stood at that brat’s side. Happily betraying everyone that he had loved… I saw the eyes of those that fought at the side of the Endarkened and they were no longer Nephilim...they were meer puppets for their master.

The battles they faced were violent and cruel and the act itself of taking our people from their homes and forcing them to become one of them was as much to destroy our moral as it was to gain a ready army that would further weaken our numbers. Previously devastated from the war against Valentine and his demons.”

Silence fell as Bane’s eyes snapped to the hand that rose amongst the others. Julie was staring intently at the older male her eyes imploring. Simon could see the look on her face from where he sat, and he felt a tightening in his chest.

“This isn’t a lecture in which I take questions!” Bane growled his eyes narrowing on her before softening a fraction at her unwavering resolve. “fine what?!”

“You said that it was not them!!! How...can you know for sure? What if they could have been saved?...what if they could have been reverted?”

Bane met her eyes for a while longer before finally sighing gently as he folded his arms over his chest. Shaking his head as he thought about what had been asked, even looking up to the back of the room. Nodding to something he seemed to let his shoulder sag.

“ They were not themselves!.... I watched as someone I had known my whole life was forced to drink. His eyes were wide and filled with such fear...and then the light in them faded and died. When he opened his eyes, next there was nothing of the person that I had always known...none of the person who had smiled at me and taught me… Someone who was as close to me as a brother. I watched him try and kill his other half...and finally die by his parabatai’s blade...Those Endarkened were no longer Nephilim as proven when their runes left them….and confirmed because when the infernal cup was destroyed each one of them died! That is the whole kit and caboodle of the situation. Many families were torn apart as their members were kidnapped and forced to drink from the cup. Others were slaughtered needlessly. You are the next generation meant to replace the many that we lost. You are lucky that you will never have to face against Sebastian and his army of our own.”

The words were odd from someone who seemed so similar in age to them all and yet Simon could see Jace speaking the same way to them, if not maybe a little less coldly and with a great deal more sass. This man was a shadowhunter who had been tested in battle and who stood before them to tell of his experiences, who knew what they did not. The risks and the implications of what their choices meant. Bane stood up now that he was finished his arms falling to his sides before he pointed at Simon.

“ Lewis!.... The London Institute owes you a debt!...” With that the black-haired man turned and stalked from the lecture hall, effectively dismissing them all.

“That was soo different!” George was murmuring as they were one of the last to leave, having to let the Elites rush from the room in hopes to catch up to Bane, or even just to get a closer look.

“ You’re telling me… I mean he seemed half telling us we were going to die… and yet to be telling us that we were going to do great things!” Maureen sighed faintly shrugging her shoulders. “ Like he was trying to both encourage us and to deter us from continuing our training.”

Simon went to say something but stopped blinking in surprise as he noticed Catarina Loss Set up at one of the many tables in the Dinning Hall. She was sat across from someone Simon had never seen, and the two of them appeared to be pouring themselves over a chess board. Studying the beautiful male, Simon felt his stomach twist as he caught a flash of cat eyes and he momentarily thought of Magnus Bane. But no this was not Magnus. The man had trimmed black hair and wore a rather conventional black suite with a navy blue shirt that hung open a few buttons. And a black peacock coat was flung lazily over one of the empty chairs a silver topped cane resting on the table.

“ Who’s that!!” Maureen squeaked her cheeks going red as she studied him appreciatively.

As Simon looked around the room, he noticed two things, one being that they were not the only students regarding the stranger with their warlock teacher. Many of the elites were warily eyeing him in some of the guys’ cases and a few of the girls - Julie and Beatriz to name a few were staring at him dreamily.

The second thing Simon noticed was that at a larger table not to far from the two sat Marquis and Bane. The two were not speaking, and neither of them was eating and had apparently been joined by two newcomers. A smaller looking male with straight, shoulder length black hair sat at Marquis’ side and from the way, he was leaned into the blonde whispering to him, along with the gentle, almost loving look in the blonde’s face as he answered him. Simon was positive he could be sure that this black haired shadow hunter with the slightly Asian look to him had to be the “partner” that Marquis had spoken about several times.

The fourth person at their table made Simon’s body tense and relax simultaneously as he recognized that mess of blonde hair and the form of the male he had seen just yesterday. Karlyle AshShield was sitting among his shadowhunters, and was eating a healthy helping of the food the cafeteria offered.

From what he could see much of the discolouration from his injures were gone as were many of the bandages and although the other was pale - far too pale - Simon could see none of the green complexions that the other had had previously. He also had a cane leaned against the table near him and when Simon chanced a glance he noticed with relief that the bandages on his leg were gone.

Simon hadn’t realized he was staring until he looked up and caught Marquis staring up at him as he was rising from his seat waving Simon and George over to the two empty seats at their table. The enthusiastic smile on the blonde’s face was increasing as he seemed to catch the disgruntled look on Jon’s face as he and a few of the elites a couple of tables turned to glare at Simon.

Slipping over to their table Simon felt himself shift uncomfortably, looking down at the food that was sitting on trays in those empty seats. Raising a brow as he noticed that it was Japanese food again he looked at Marquise.

“ Are these someones?”

“...Hell no! Whoever made that crap should be shot!!” The black haired male at Marquis’ side growled, his eyes glowing with a peculiar malice and his accent tilting upwards at the end. It was an odd combination of the English accent that Simon was beginning to recognize amongst the shadowhunters of London, and something else.

“Marquis was mentioning how you would stab the cooks!” Simon agreed with a nod as he sat down and pushed the tray slightly away from himself.

“I would if he would let me up” The black haired shadowhunter grumbled indicating irritably at how the blonde’s legs were weaved in amongst his apparently trapping him from getting up.

“ We’re here to pick up Karlyle. not leave the Academy in need of a new cooking staff love!” Marquis teased as he leaned in to whisper something into the other’s ears that Simon couldn’t hear from where he sat. He could, however, see the pink tinge that rose in the other’s face.

“You...must be Marquis’ partner?” Simon asked reaching his hand out. “ I’m Simon

“ Lewis… I know!” The other interrupted as he accepted his hand. Shaking it firmly with a faint quirk of his head the slighter shadow hunter regarded him curiously. Frankly, this male made Simon relax a little as he noticed how slight he was. However despite the other’s narrow frame and build there was a strength in that hand shake that made Simon think that if he chose to, the other could easily kick his ass.

“ I’m Mingli CrossFire”

Simon blinked and stopped in his examining of the other as he realized that he was introducing himself. The name making Simon’s eyebrow shoot up. Sure Simon could see a slight Asian look to the other, but his accent was almost fully British.

“I’ve lived in London most of my life! But I was born in Japan…on one of the smaller Islands,” Mingli explained catching the look. With that, he turned to George and offered him his hand as well. “ I hear you’re a Lovelace!... we owe the Lovelace!... one of theirs saved our institute from Sebastian… I think I speak for all of us when I say that when you ascend, we’ll welcome you…since you’ll be needing an institute to work with!” Mingli flashed the stunned Scott a grin.

“ ...I make statements like that Ming!” Simon jumped at the sudden words from Karlyle as the other pulled himself up from where he seemed to be trying to shovel three people’s worth of food into himself. His eyes, however, weren’t annoyed or angry as he met the Japanese shadow hunter's eyes, more amused behind that lingering pain.

“Yeah yeah well you were snarfing food, so I figured I'd make it!” Mingli rolled his eyes and waved a bored hand in his direction before eyeing his tray with disdain. “ How are you eating that swill?”

“....try almost dying and then you will become less picky at what goes into your stomach!’ Karlyle answered matter of factly before wiping his mouth with a napkin as he leaned in and held his hand out to George as well. “ … I also make the same statement as Ming. When you Ascend, you are more than welcome calling London home lad…"

“ Thank you!!” George squeaked as he accepted the handshake, staring at him in dumbfounded shock.

Simon couldn’t help the grin that crossed his face at the small smirk that spread over the other’s face as Karlyle eyed George and finally sat back. The faint twitch made the muscles around his mouth and eyes deepen like they were used to a bright smile on his face that had not been used for quite some time. Almost as if that was his face’s natural state, smiling and happy despite the pain that was still evident.

“Yo!!! Hellspawn!!! We’re ready to leave!”

Simon leaped in his seat at the booming voice from across the table from him. His head snapping to look at Bane, who sat leaned back in his seat, his arms across his chest and his eyes closed. His face was otherwise impassive as he sat in silence.

“ Really now? how fascinating...have fun walking back to London from here Nephilim!” That amused voice was laced with a cold tone that made Simon shiver as he glanced towards the owner of the voice.

The black haired man who had sat with Catarina Looked up from the chess board lazily; his eyes very much slit-like cats narrowing on Bane’s face. The dark haired shadowhunter rose a brow at him and tilting his head to regard him just as coldly. Looking him over from where he now sat one hand extended almost lazily towards them, palm upwards.

“ Crossfire it’s your turn to pay him!” Bane grumbled.

“ Huh? no way I'm not paying him you’re the one that said you could get the warlock to transport us!” Mingli cried his eyes murderous as he glowered at Bane.

“ No, I said I could get us here! and you would have to worry about getting back.”   
“You arse!”

“Riveting” The warlock murmured as he glanced between the two his eyes rolling skywards before he returned to the board between himself and Catarina.

“ Fine!” Mingli growled as he rose to his feet and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and stalked around the table to shove a handful of money into the other’s still waiting hand. “ I will pay you the other half when we are returned to the institute!”

“Very well Nephilim!” the warlock rose and for the first time, Simon sucked in a breath as he realized that the other had more than just cat’s eyes. A long tail flickered lazily by his leg and atop his head sat a set of black cat’s ears that had been hidden among his hair.

Gathering up his cane in one hand, the black haired warlock reached outwards. Catching Catarina’s blue hand in his own and brought the back of it to his lips. Skimming a light kiss on her knuckles before releasing her fingers and stepping away.

“ it is a pleasure as always Miss Loss!”

“Ah, Bache! it is as refreshing as ever to see one of your ...heritage that behaves in a civilized manner” Catarina drawled before rising to her feet, a faint furrowing of her brow as with a flicker of Bache’s hand the chessboard disappeared.   
“ Not all of us behave as Magnus does. I know you do not associate with many of our kin but you’ll see that now and then!” The warlock, Bache, promised before turning towards where Bane, Mingli, and Marquise had all risen from their seats to watch as Karlyle, at last, pulled himself from the chair he had been sitting in.

Leaning on the cane, Karlyle took a tentative step forward, wobbling once before straightening upwards and shooting Mingli a dark look as the smaller shadowhunter had moved to help him. Moving forward again, with more confidence, Karlyle approached the two warlocks.

“ You have my thanks Catarina Loss!”

“You are welcome Nephilim. Remember that your wounds need time to heal even with my healings and the silent brothers...and your leg may never fully recover. But you will be okay with time.”

Nodding his head once more, Karlyle turned to regard Simon with one last, Simon almost wanted to say grateful, look before making his way from the dining hall. The three following with him a few steps behind.

Simon watched them go, jumping at the cat eyes that met his as Bache stopped and turned to look at him. “ hmm...one who ruined (insert Magnus father’s name)s plans hmm?... you boy are a fascination… I will be watching you ex daylighter!”

Simon felt as if his skin was prickling at the look in those feline eyes and the image of this warlock studying him before turning to leave. Without meaning too, Simon rose to his feet and found himself following the group out of the academy, watching with the others in silence as they began to disappear up the path into the forest.

“ I was worried about him for a while there.”

Simon tensed at the voice that came suddenly from his right. His eyes widening a fraction as he saw a male sitting on the stairs where Simon could remember finding Karlyle two nights past. He was leaning forward, his arms resting on his knees and his eyes locked on Karlyle’s back. His black hair was a messy array of strands, and green eyes were gentle and relieved.

Simon was almost shocked at how little he was surprised to realize that the male before him was mostly transparent. He looked up the man just in time to see Karlyle’s back disappearing into the woods behind his shadowhunters.

“Thank you!” The male turned then to Simon, his eyes gentle and grateful. “You saved my soul’s brother...so thank you!”

Simon was left staring in dumbfounded shock as the image before him slowly vanished before him, leaving Simon standing on the stairwell staring off into the forest. Only to blink in surprise as an all too familiar blonde appeared making his way out of the woods.

“ Jace?”

“Hi, there wiggles!!!” Jace saluted casually at him, his lips breaking into a cocky grin.

“What are you doing here?”

“Hmmm...Dean Penhallow was worried about a lecture that was given earlier, so she had Catarina Loss send a message to the Institute about getting one of us to round things out” Jace shrugged faintly, clearly bored at the idea of it.

“Oh god seriously?” Simon groaned and sighed shaking his head following him inside.

Tilting his head faintly as he thought about it Simon finally stopped and turned towards the blonde. “ Jace!”

“ hm?”

“....Do you ever worry about the others...you know...dying?”

Simon felt his stomach roll, and his fists clench slightly at the raised eyebrow that arched sharply at his question. Simon had the fleeting impulse to punch Jace solidly in his “ I'm too cool for this school” face, only holding back because he knew that Jace could easily take him. And then some.

Simon didn’t even know what words he should use to defend himself...he did not want to go into details about the vivid memories he had of Clary being in danger and Isabelle bleeding almost to death. Hell as he stood here now staring at the blonde Simon also had a flash of an image of Jace himself standing ingulfed in flames while someone screamed in pain.

Something changed in Jace’s face then as he cast a look around before finally turning to face Simon completely. Crossing his arms over his chest, he almost seemed to curl into himself as he appeared to be thinking of Simon’s question.

“Of course, I do! I remember what it felt like to come back to the Penhallow home after the attack on the Alicante and find out that Max was dead...

“ I remember seeing Alec as he lay bleeding to death after that greater demon stung him, feeling the connection that is our parabatai bond straining thinner and thinner as he got ever closer to death. And I remember thinking that we were going to lose Izzy to...so yes Simon....I do worry.”

Simon stared in opened mouthed shock at the blonde as Jace spoke so candidly. There was just something about the way the other stood there, his body curled into itself and his face almost unreadable. Simon couldn’t recall in his short time of knowing Jace, or even in the brief flashes of his other life, ever seeing Jace this way.

“Then how do you keep going on?...How do you fight knowing that tomorrow any of them, or even you, could not come home?”

“...I do it because I am good at it...And I am good at it so that I can protect everyone I care about!”

Simon watched as Jace turned then to make his way through the halls towards their lecture room once more, the other students trailing after him apparently eager to learn anything that Jace Herondale had to teach them.

Despite how little Jace had actually answered, Simon did feel a great deal better for having heard his response. He had thought when he first came here that this was all about becoming the hero he had once been. Building up to be Simon Lewis Conqueror of evil and savior of Nephilim and downworlders alike. But now he had to wonder if it was not a better goal to train as he was not to be important and heroic...but instead to protect and guard those he cared for and loved?


End file.
